The, Ahem, Joys Of After Colony 197
by lil-demon618
Summary: The forgotten characters of Gundam Wing. Evelyn Miller and Shaelin Maxwell. Make one an ex-pilot, the other a girl who reigned vengence on OZ herself. Now have them live with the boys, and add in crushes, pranks, and wild Narrorator bashing!
1. Taking Out the Trash

Hey this is lil_demon and Blade Griffin and here's our story.  
  
Disclaimer: we DON'T own Gundam Wing. We wish. But Evelyn and Shaelin are our original characters so there!  
  
Chapter One - Taking Out the Trash  
  
It's AC 197, the Gundam pilots have abandoned their weapons and now lead a quiet, inconspicuous life on our beautiful planet Earth. Well, sort of.  
  
One beautiful average sunny morning, Evelyn Miller sat peacefully eating her double-chocolate triple fudge sundae with triple coated sprinkles, contemplating the meaning of life. Soon she was joined by her true, always trustworthy friend, Shaelin Maxwell. *Evee spits out her mouthful of of ice cream and begins to laugh.* "Shae? Trustworthy? Yeah...good one. Can we get another narrator over here? This one sucks!" Evee nails old narrator in face as new one enters. After a moments pause story begins again*  
  
"HELLO MY DEAREST FRIEND!!!" Shae greeted Evee exuberantly and gave her a large hug and stunning smile before settling down for breakfast. "Um... I hope you don't mind me asking but where's the actual breakfast food? On a normal basis people don't tend to gorge themselves on frozen chocolate substances so early in the morning." Evee glared. "IF YOU MUST KNOW MY PIG OF A BROTHER ATE ALL THE CEREAL!!! And either you brain was taken by aliens or you did something to Duo because you have no manners known in existance my tactless friend."  
  
Shalin feigned hurt, and fell off her chair. "Omph. Ok that wasn't suppose to happen. I do still have dignity so tell anyone and DIE!" She slowly climbed up off the floor and nearly sat back down when a blood-curdling scream was heard throughout the house. "Oh lovely talking with you Evee really but I must run for my life before Duo has my head."Evee looked at her wide-eyed with one thought in her head. 'Well I've never heard Duo yell THAT loud before. Not even when we were kids! Or when she put bubble bath in the car oil! Or anything else for that matter.' She thought of all the things Shae had done to torture her older brother. She blinked a couple times.'I wonder whats wrong?!?' Then the thundering of the hurricane Duo was upon the kitchen before Shae was all the way out. She turned to see the fury her of her brother's blotchy red face and...... LIME GREEN HAIR!!!!!  
  
Evee was stunned. Almost too stunned to speak yet she was able to get out one small question. "Umm...Duo? W-why is your hair all green?" With that he gave her a look that made her wish that she hadn't had the ability to speak. Shae slipped toward the door as quietly as she possibly could, but Duo was upon her before you could say 'Deathscythe'. "Whatever is the matter, my dear brother?"she asked while trying to suppress her laughter. "SHAE!! YOU DID THIS DIDN'T YOU! WELL, WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR, CHRISTMAS? ANSWER ME NOW!!" Duo screamed."Ummm...no?"she answered, rather timidly. She had never seen her brother this angry before, but she loved the look on his face. Well, neither had Evee. She just sat there, staring.  
  
"SHAE!!!What...did...you...do...to..my...HAIR?!?" He said, calming down a little, just a little. "Relax bro, it's washable." "It better be, for your sake.I'm gonna take a shower"he said,"but before I do, I've got to take out the trash."With that remark, he picked up Shae as if she weighed nothing and threw her out of the window.  
  
"Well that was nice wasn't it? Geez Duo, you must really love your sister to throw her out of the window like that."Evee said with pure sarcasm. "Well I do actually."he replied, a grin forming on his face as he heard a rather large thud below. "Shouldn't we check to see if she's all right?"she asked."Nah,that won't be necessary. I made sure she won't die from that fall. Your brother might, though."he said.  
  
"Huh?"she stated as she ran to the window Duo had thrown Shae out of. There she was, unconcious at the moment, just lying on, Heero. "Wh-where am I?"she murmured as she came to. "Air! I need air!"Heero gasped. "Huh? Oh, Heero! I-I'm so sorry!" she cried scrambling off of him, her face red as a ripe tomato."  
  
*cough gasp*Phew! Now I can breathe!"he cried.  
  
"Uh, heh heh. Now I think I'll go uh, that-a-way." Shae dashed off in one direction.  
  
"Hey, wait a minute..."Heero starts off. Shae however, was completely ignoring him and was mumbling to herself  
  
"O-kay, so that way is a dead end. Now I'll try going this-a-way..." As she paced back.  
  
"Woah! Will you please tell me what the hell is going on?"Heero cries, grabbing Shae by the wrists.They sat down on a bench nearby where they could talk calmly and rationally.  
  
"Well, umm, you see,icoloredduo'shairlimegreenthismorningandhegotmad andthrewmeoutofthewindow..." Heero gapped at the girl. He then shook her by the shoulders to get her attention.  
  
"Hey hey HEY!!! Slow down a bit, will ya?"  
  
"Okay, it started when I decided to share my wonderful idea with my brother and..."  
  
"Like that's something new," he says, smirking.  
  
"Oh shut up and let me finish talking. Well anyway, I put that green hair spray junk and his hair turned lime green. And then I went downstairs and greeted Evee who was eating chocolate ice cream..."  
  
"Why was she eating chocolate ice cream anyway?" Heero asks. Shae glared heatedly at him.  
  
"She said it was because you ate all the cereal. You're getting off the subject again and STOP interrupting me!! And then Duo screams and storms downstairs, yells at me, and then throws me out of the window and now here I am." With that she stood and walked off. 


	2. Of Boredom and Missions

A/N- Ok, well this is actually Blade, but yeah. I have one thing to say. If you like it REVIEW!! PWEEEESE!! That will cause me to create more of Shae's (my character) character!  
  
Anyway disclaimer- Shaes mine, take her and I bite you. Evee's Sakura's. Take her and I bit you. Plot, we will eventually get one, is ours. Take it and I bit you. G-boy not ours, Gundam Wing is not ours. Take them and I still bite you. Either that or I become your best friend.  
  
Chapter Two - Of Boredom and Missions  
  
*Smack. Smack. Smack. Smack*  
  
"Shae, unless you think beating the desk to death with your forehead will fix the dullness of science class, I figure you should stop before you do some damage to yourself." After a pause and a glare from the lab partner Evee rethought her comment. "Oh wait.... Too late... You've already done too much damage to what's left of that brain of yours."  
  
Shae growled and threw her text book at the wide awake and disgustingly alert girl. She pouted when Evee caught it right before it had an unfortunante meeting with her face. Evee passed the aerial assult object back to the sulking teen. Then they both continued to take notes on the ecosystems in the neighboring lakes. They were suppose to have a field trip today, but rain had cancelled the outing, much to Shae's dismay.  
  
Another five minutes crawled bye. Even Evee, in all her unhuman morning cheerfulness, was nearly asleep when a sharp jab broke her out of the half- concious daze. There next to her sat an extremely happy Shae. That was NEVER a good sign. It was actually apocalyptic bad.  
  
"Heeey, Evee baby-"  
  
"No." Evee halted her before she could even start. Her tone made it obvious that she was plotting something, and that was even worse than her happy.  
  
"But-" Shae tried to act innocent, but she failed miserably.  
  
"No."  
  
"Come on."  
  
"No."  
  
"Plllllleeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaase!" Shae was nearly on the floor begging on her knees.  
  
"No."  
  
"It'll get us outta Mrs. Oshi's science class in Yatuho All Girls High School...." Shae said slyly, trailing off hopefully at the end. After a moments hesitation Evee finally gave in.  
  
"Tell me quickly. If I don't like it I'll get you a detention that will make you listen to Oshi's droning for an extra hour." Evee glared at her 'friend' daring her to cross the invisible 'don't you dare' line.  
  
"Well... um.. see. I kinda, well it would be better if I showed you." She paused for a moment before another thought came to her. "OH!! And it's not illegal.... I hope..."  
  
That gained another glare from the much more restrained girl. In other words the one without a criminal record three pages long. Or the one who WOULD have one around ten pages if she was caught more often.  
  
When the teacher back was turned, Shae dragged the apprehensive girl out the door and crept down the hall. Ah, the perks of sitting in the back row. It was actually because most people found Shae mildly disturbing. Well, the arguments of 'Noooo, that would only produce a half inch hole in the right temple if fired at the range and direction." That had the tendancy to unnerve people.  
  
When they finally exited the building Evee yanked her arm from the mentally unstable female. ("HEY!! Narrorator, I heard that! I am fully in my right mind." Shae stands and shakes fist at sky. Evee grumbles toward the ground. "That's what we're afraid of.") "Wha- Do you mind an explanation for your sudden class-ditching behavior?"  
  
"I got us out. I plan to let us have fun. Now, ON TO THE BOYS SCHOOL!!" Shae began marching off. She left a horrified Evee behind her. The shock of what Shae was planning was still sinking in, causing Evee to open and close her mouth looking much akin to a fish or cow.  
  
"SHAE! Are you INSANE!! The-The boys will tear us apart! No ifs, ands, or buts, about it. I personally have become rather fond of my ability to breath. So if you don't mind, I'll go back to class. Maybe I'll be able to make up on lost sleep." With that she turned and headed back to the building. When she didn't notice another person behind her she swiveled around to find Shae.  
  
"Oh, uh uh. No she didn't...." But she knew she had. Shae had gone to terrorize her fellow pilots. Evee's mission - Save the boys. Probability of success - Slim to none. Well here goes nothing.  
  
She romped grimly after the far too hyper to be safe girl in hopes there would still be pieces of Duo and Wufei when she was done. They always seemed to fall into Shaelin's trap first. Whether they be a short tempered older brother or a stuffed shirt Chinese man, Evee had a misson and she had to come through for, all their sakes. 


	3. To Kill an Obnoxious Politician

Disclaimer- No mine, no Sakura's, bite me.  
  
Chapter Three - To Kill an Obnoxious Politician  
  
Shae ambled happily down the hall of the all boys school. She whistled happily as she recalled the period and room number that her brother dearest was now in. He and Heero were in.... Ugh! Biology! Hadn't she decided to crash their school to get OUT of bio? Ah, well, life ain't perfect. Room 206, 208, 210.. AHHA!! Room 212. An evil smirk graced Shae's features. Let the games begin.  
  
She straightened her school uniform before walking primly up to the door. Taking a calming breath she put her hand to the knob and... Swung it open with a earth shattering crash.  
  
"OH BROTHER DEEEEAR!! I know you've missed me OH SO much, so I came to visit." She strolled in glancing about the class, nodding approvingly from time to time. "Nice, very nice." She decided to take the next step."HEERO!! Oh, helloooo babe! So what have you been up to today. I KNOW we haven't been able to have that much 'alone time', but I'm a busy girl." She sat in his lap, throwing one arm around his neck and the other stroked his cheek. You could see the resemblance between Evee and him at that moment. The shocked face was almost identical.  
  
Duo, it seemed, had taken a hobby of looking like a deer caught in the headlight of a semi. The semi which was nearing exceedingly faster. Finally he snapped out of his stupor and decided to deal with the 'problem' which had invited herself into his class. He stomped up to the frozen Heero, who was much a statue from how little movement he dared to make. Shae, it was obvious, was enjoying the public humiliation of her friend and family.  
  
"SHAELIN VALKIREI MAXWELL!!! Get your hand off my best friend! Or, as you might do well to remember, YOUR best friend's BROTHER! Have you gone MAD?!?! No, don't answer that. You've been mentally dehabilitated far longer than we've properly known you. Now, GET OFF!!" Duo was about to lose it completely, when Evee burst through the door panting with a pissed Wufei behind her.  
  
"WUFFLES!! Oh baby doll, you came for me!! I am truly adored." she leaped off of Heero, much to his relief, and dashed at a terrified Wufei.She clung to his chest and looked out among the boy's class mates. Acting melodramtic she jerked back from Wufei hiding her face.  
  
"Oh my darling." She turned back to him. "HOW could I have EVER doubted YOU?" She was about to continue when the most horrific sound echoed down the halls. It would strike fear into the hearts of any who heard the nightmarish shriek. A blur speed past Shae, Evee, and Wufei. No make that TWO blurs, both chorusing in perfect time. "HEEEROOO!" or "DUUUUOOO!"  
  
Shae sighed. "I shall sacrifice myself for the greater good..." And with that yanked Evee with her. She approached the two clinging girls. The pitiful thing was that they MEANT what they were doing. It could make ANYONE heave, even Shae.  
  
"Yo hippy peace girl."Relena looked at Shae. She blinked and searched the room with a comfused expression.  
  
"Who are you talking to?" Shae gave a flat look to Heero and sighed.  
  
"YOU! Relena Piece-of-Crap!" Shae was shocked to hear EVEE insulting anyone. Heero almost fell out of his chair after hearing such a comment from Evelyn.  
  
"OH MY! How rude, but surely you don't know how improper that is. I can forgive you for ignorance. So many have vast amounts of it." Shae grumbled in response.  
  
"Yeah, you." Relena seemed hurt and began to wail into Heero's shirt. He scowled but didn't move to displace her. So Shae took it upon herself.  
  
Until Hilde decided to strike. She was cornering Duo up against the wall. "Oh, Duo! I've missed you so! I don't know how I could have survived without knowing of your love."She said dramatically. Duo frantically searched the room for a very heavy or sharp object to fend off the wild beast before him.  
  
Evee, seeing Duo's panicky face, was feeling VERY pissed off and, even though she didn't want to admit it, jealous. She grabbed the nearest clingy girl deterant; a bucket of newly dissected frog innards and threw it over Hilde's head.  
  
Hilde shrieked loudly before heading to the nearest girls bathroom, which just HAPPENED to be outside. Shae, impressed but not to be outdone, grabbed a frog of the lab table before shoving it swiftly down Relena's shirt.  
  
"Oh I'm so sorry Relena darling I really am. My hand just.umm...slipped." Shae said, stifling the urge to laugh to out loud watching Relena scream her head off trying to get the dead frog out of her shirt.  
  
"EEEEEEEKKKK!!! Heero help meeee.." She screeched and then ran out of the room in the direction that Hilde took.  
  
With that Shae the turned grinning at Evee."WAY TO GO!! and here I thought you'd never lift a finger to hurt man-kind anymore?"  
  
"Oh but neither Relena nor Hilde are men now, are they?" Evee said sweetly."And besides, I don't like the the idea of my brother nor Duo being gay." She added.  
  
"HEY!!!" Duo and Heero shouted in unison.  
  
And then the principal chose that exact moment to walk into the class. 


End file.
